August 2022

Do you feel guilty when you do tell people “no”?
Do you neglect your own needs in order to care for others?
Do you agree to do things you don’t like or really want to do?

If you say yes to all, you might be a people pleaser. When being agreeable, helpful, and kind comes at the cost of your own needs and wants, and when you prioritize others to  appoint that you neglect yourself or sacrifice your wellbeing, then you have the tendency  to be a people pleaser. People pleasing, is often associated with behavior that is directed externally,  because one  is commonly afraid  of being disliked or rejected if one should say “no,”.

One of the steps you can take to change is to take a minute before you answer the request impulsively.

Before  you overcommit and directly feel obligated to do something by your yes, stall for time. Take your time to evaluate the request.

Think for example:

  • Will it cause me stress?
  • Do I have the time and energy to do it?
  • Do I want to? It is meaningful and important for me too?
  • Do I have things to do of higher priority?
  • Do I want to do a small part of the task but not all?
  • Is this relationship a give or take relationship, which I want to invest in?

Taking a short pause before making a choice increases decision-making abilities and accuracy. It will help you to recognize your own needs, wants and priorities and thus also guide your behavior towards a more balanced life.

Exercise of the Month